Just a few days past my final draft to the K/news with my stories for the insert and I am feeling somewhat overcome with feelings of inadequacyand guilt. There really wasn’t any closure and after I worked so hard, I almost feel as if it was my fault that I wasn’t able to do a better job for them. I have wracked my brain to see what I could have done differently, but outside of sitting outside these individuals homes to wait for an interview, I don’t know what else I could have done.
After HJB called me this evening to let me know he received the invoice and would pay me ‘one of these days’ I had the underlying feeling that what I did was not enough. On top of that, hiring MK to finish the section did nothing for my self esteem–she seems to pop up fairly often doing stories that I have requested. Now I feel as if she is going to be the ‘hero’ that pulled the section together when the regular writer quit.
Perhaps I am just overreacting, or dealing with mid-life hormones, but I pray for a favorable outcome and a better feeling overall regarding this project.
Maybe, like my late mother often said, ‘things will look better in the morning.’ I hope so mom!