When I think back to my own pregnancies, I remember alternating thoughts of excitement, fear, nervousness and overwhelming joy. Now that three of my five children are experiencing parenthood for the first time, it is edifying for me to see the circle of life continue.
While I am unable to be present in the lives of two of my children, I pray intently and eagerly for the their happiness and the good health of my unborn grandchildren. Despite my hopes for reconciliation, it will have to be our dear Lord Jesus who ultimately softens their hearts, as my heart will never grow hard for them. If they never return to me, I am content to know that Jesus loves them even more than I can ever begin to love them and will watch over their lives–and that will have to be enough.
One thing they cannot prevent, however, is my continuation of daily prayers and keeping a vigil candle burning in our home for them.
For my son, who I do see, I pray for God’s infinite blessings on his daughter, my first biological grandchild. I pray that Annia’s mother will also soften her heart and allow us the joy of participating in her life–and if she does not, I pray that the courts will allow my son to bring her here from time to time.
And for my step-granddaughter Linzy, I am grateful to see so much of her daddy and grandpa bursting forth in her exuberant personality. Alternating between tomboy and girly-girl, I am blessed to be making her a pink ruffly Easter dress this year–quite a change from the Texas Ranger Denim jacket I made for her last Christmas. She is a joy and a treasure to us.
While many on the outside looking in see one thing…….only our Lord knows the truth and love within my heart for all of my children. It is he who sustains both Blaise and I each day and it is His love, mercy and grace that are sufficient.
God Bless you my grandchildren and God bless you Ryan and Molly–we will never stop loving you.