Getting lost in the illusion of sanctity

The quiet stillness of God’s Holy breath upon my soul transforms me
makes me yearn for oneness with him as I gaze upon his countenance during Adoration in the warmth of a fall afternoon.
A revelation!
This is what I was born to do
I was born to gaze upon Him,
to live according to His will
to follow His example of forgiveness by opening my heart to those who have injured me
or used me
or mocked me and cast me aside
It is by not holding grudges
by loving when the world is difficult to love
by helping those in need
But often, we are pulled and tugged into a myriad of directions
involvement in clubs, social experiences, fundraisers, classes, and stuffed into the the dark corner of my once supple heart is Our Lord
I thought my heart was in the right direction, but I become too involved
too dedicated
too busy
and I forget to sit
in His presence
basking in the glow of His spirit
listening for His voice
His guidance
His direction.
and realizing that the noise, the screaming, the fear, worries, and angst are all coming from me.
And I realize it is time to retreat
back to His loving arms
home, where I belong
for the war between flesh and blood is in me
it is me

Deliver me, O my God, out of the hand of the sinner, and out of the hand of the transgressor of the law and of the unjust. Psalm 71:4

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