Well no one ever said it would be easy and I suppose backsliding into self loathing is a normal process of growth. Yesterday, despite an enchanting day poolside with friends, I managed to muck up everything in my head and got wrapped up in the pity party that seems to enjoy frequent celebrations within my soul.
Oh I rationalized the reason for each one of those wild party-goers, “I’m not good enough,” “I am a failure,” “I’m at fault for the estrangements in my family,” “feeling sorry about the dire financial state we are in,” “feelings of jealousy,”and of course, “everybody hates me I think I’ll go eat worms.” Yeah–they all had a good time rattling around in my head……for a while. Then, I got out the sword and cut them to ribbons.
No no no, I am not into cutting. I mean THE Sword. The Word of God Almighty, creator of heaven and earth–THAT Sword and one by one, I cut those voices from the pit of hell into ribbons and remembered who GOD says that I am.
A few passages that are keeping me grounded in Him.
Romans 8:1 There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus
Romans 8:17 And if children, then heirs (namely, heirs of God and also fellow heirs with Christ)–if indeed we suffer with him so we may also be glorified with him
Colossians 3:13 Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you
Psalm 51:7 Thou shalt sprinkle me with hyssop, and I shall be cleansed: thou shalt wash me, and I shall be made whiter than snow.
Since that slimy evil being only wants to destroy me and my happiness, I think I should be praying the St. Michael Prayer more often.
defend us in battle.
Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil.
May God rebuke him, we humbly pray;
and do Thou, O Prince of the Heavenly Host –
by the Divine Power of God –
cast into hell, satan and all the evil spirits,
who roam throughout the world seeking the ruin of souls.
And we enter a new day, with new challenges and new beauty and the blessings of the Sabbath. Thanks be to God for another day to be grateful.