Throughout this journey of reinvention, I have learned a couple of things: I need to stop and smell the flowers more, and I have come to realize when it is all said and done, it is not for what I do, or how much money I make that will be remembered. I will be remembered by how much I allow the light of Jesus Christ to resonate through me towards others.
Best antidotes to battle feeling sorry for myself–invite people over for dinner. Of course, we can’t afford a lot, but you know what? Who cares? When I think back on the best parties I have attended, I have not ever recalled what we ate or drank, but the closeness and intimacy of getting to better know family and friends.
In battling my own sense of loss of value in the world, I ran into a friend yesterday who is suffering much worse than we are–my heart wept and I know that somehow, we can find a way to quietly do something nice for him.
For isn’t this what we are to be about, really? Building up the Kingdom of God? I don’t care what the faith level is of my relatives or friends–it certainly doesn’t matter. I am not here to evangelize with words. What does matter in the end, is, what am I going to do with the tools that God has given me to reach out to others. What good is it for me to be searching out the perfect story, or the perfect income, or the perfect whatever–when my fellow sojourners on this planet are suffering? Realizing that others are suffering is one thing–doing something to help is another. I want to be the one to help.
So today, despite my own feelings of inadequacy, we are having friends over for a barbeque and I am not going to fret about it. I won’t go overboard in a cleaning frenzy, or find the finest food to serve, but we will entertain within our means, relax and enjoy the day.
One day at a time, I will learn to become the child I never was never allowed to be. Thanks be to God.
Happy Independence Day and a big thank you to my siblings: John, Andy, and Amy; and to my children Sean and Ryan who served our country in the United States Armed Forces. You have a courage that is beyond understanding and I am so proud of each one of you.