Always late to the party, I just learned a week or so ago that many of my Catholic writer friends choose a word to represent their upcoming year. After praying on it for just a moment, I felt the nudge of the Holy Spirit imprinting this one on my heart.
What a responsibility.
Trust. Not the noun, but for me, a verb, for it will take much action on my part to realize the true impact of this word. It will be an ongoing effort to open myself wide, allowing God to provide for us in an extraordinarily uncertain year.
Our precious family is again threatened by outside forces so great that we are once more faced with the prospect of losing our home, of financial ruin, and of health issues so challenging that the outcome is uncertain.
Proverbs 3:5 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” The words flow easily from my lips, but living them day after day requires another level entirely.
To trust in Him, means to truly realize that He knows what is best for me. He knows more than my little worldly mind can comprehend. He sees the completed art on the tapestry, but I merely see the loose, multi-hued threads flailing about. What I understand is never the overall picture of what God sees. My vision is limited by my thoughts, my experiences and my poor insight, but God sees the past, present and future and it is His will that all that happens will lead me to Him.
The concept of trust for a worrier like me is challenging but something greatly needed. Perhaps on the exterior I appear to have everything together, but like a shiny red apple with a little worm crawling inside, I don’t. That little worm is wreaking havoc on the sweet delicious pulp of the apple, and worry is like that worm inside me, wreaking havoc on my faith.
My goal will be to put the truth of trust into practice, making it such a powerful theme in my life that I see every sorrow, every joy, every event, every prayer with the unwavering certainty that God’s Divine Providence is totally, and purely trustworthy.
This theme is an ongoing quest to learn to trust in what I cannot see, to allow Him to guide my life. Everything…. and to know that in the end, it will be amazing.