Counting It All Joy

jesus-praying

For those who have followed our path the past ten years, you are well aware of the difficult and seemingly insurmountable moments we’ve endured. The fear after my husband was injured, to him losing  his job, to navigating long-term disability and Social Security was extremely challenging. Then there was my husband’s personal injury case with an unscrupulous lawyer to moving to a new place with empty promises of a job to my ongoing health issues with Lyme Disease, Levaquin toxicity, and Hashimoto’s disease.

Some dear ones who have followed our path have dealt with depression issues because they felt so bad about what we were enduring. Granted, it does get old.

But Romans 8:27 tells us, No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.

Through it all, we tried to keep in mind, God’s promises and that He was in control. Somehow, we made it and we praised Him all along the way. And while it got dark at times, nothing prepared us for this current chapter.

Recently, my husband’s company decided to make enough loopholes to his long-term disability policy, that they dropped him in August. Along with his small monthly check went our health insurance. I have joined the ranks of the uninsured, something that I never experienced before. And my husband lost his secondary policy –now he has no drug insurance, his health insurance is solely Medicare. As a disabled man, he is on a lot of medication, expensive stuff too.  We are white-knuckling it, my friends. Financially, my Lyme Disease and other issues taxed our budget fiercely, so there is no place to go but down. As a caregiver,  I have little options aside from my freelance writing gigs. I can’t work outside the home when I need to take my husband to numerous doctor appointments or be there when he needs help during the day.

We are white-knuckling it, my friends. Financially, my Lyme Disease and other issues taxed our budget fiercely, and we are sinking fast. As a caregiver,  I have little options aside from my freelance writing gigs. I can’t work outside the home when I need to take my husband to numerous doctor appointments or be there when he needs help during the day.

And don’t even try to discuss the healthcare marketplace when the only policies we might be able to afford, have deductibles of $12,500 before they pay a dime. Who can afford a policy like that, not to mention that the choices of medical providers are, shall we say, not the cream of the crop? We also learned that a lot of the insurance providers are pulling out of the plan next year, leaving a skeletal crew that will further jack up the costs.  I see the handwriting on the wall for us and for a lot of Americans in a similar boat as we are one ambulance ride or one surgery away from bankruptcy because not too many people have a chunk of money like that laying around. If we did, we’d purchase better insurance.

We’ve both had our moments of  despondency, but for the most point, we’ve been doing OK; in fact, we have felt joyful more often than not. There is something about being at the very bottom that leaves a giant chasm for God to do something. He has never left us, never forsaken us and we are trusting that He will once again, part the Red Sea and show his mighty strength and mercy.

I do believe, Lord: help my unbelief. Mark 9:24

Being at the bottom has its benefits, though, as we have learned to appreciate everything we have: electricity, running water, food, coffee, family, friends and going to daily Mass. Each day, we write our gratitude lists and it puts the richness of our lives in perspective. We have so much, even now. God is so good. He knows the longing of our hearts and knows what we need before we need it.

Psalms 145:16  Thou openest thine hand, and satisfiest the desire of every living thing.

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